What Determines People's Success?

I recently read Integrity by Dr. Henry Cloud, a book that examines integrity and how it is much more then a persons ethics and morals. Cloud focuses on how "Wholeness" of a character is must for maximizing potential. The book is broken down in six sections of character traits:

1 - Creates and maintains trust

2 - Is able to see and face reality

3 - Works in a way that brings results

4 - Embraces negative realities and solves them

5 - Causes growth and increase

6 - Achieves transcendence and meaning in life

Cloud believes WHO YOU ARE will 

determine if your brain, talent, competency, energy, effort, deal-making abilities, and opportunities will succeed. 

Cloud defines character as the ability to meet the demands of reality. When the questions of character comes up in locker rooms, board meetings, or staff meetings, its not necessarily whether someone is "Good" or "Bad" in the moral sense, its more of the ability to meet the demands of reality.

To me "The ability to meet demands of reality" is having self awareness of where you are and how you get there, as well having the ability to flip your perspective.

One of the main points Cloud drives home in the beginning of the book is "The Wake". Just as a speed boat or pontoon boat leave a wake behind them on the water, what kind of wake are we leave behind us? He breaks down The Wake to two sides : Tasks and Relationships. The Wake is centered around the question of "What did he or she accomplish and how did he or she deal with people?"

Looking at the relationship side of The Wake in a work setting, it really comes down to these questions: 

Did your coworkers enjoy working with you?

Did they look to you for help? 

Did they enjoy your time and value you as a valuable asset? 

Would they work with you again if they had another opportunity too?

Looking at the Tasks side of The Wake in a work setting it really comes down 

Were you efficient with your daily tasks? 

Did you deliver quality work? 

Did you understand your company and product inside and out? 

Clouds definition of dysfunction he uses throughout the book is 

the actual exertion of effort in a specific area that causes more problems then it solves

We often try and deal with problems dependent on the mood we are in or that the situation created. To go where we want to, we have to have the ability to step back, flip perspective, and be in touch with the reality of the situation. 

Dysfunction happens quite often in the work place. We have all seen or have experienced office drama that has directly effected a company or a team. Here is a direct excerpt from Clouds book Integrity:

"Take what the company pays the boss, and put an hourly rate on it. Compile how many hours he has spent listening to people talk about problems caused by OTHER coworkers over the years? Just a couple meetings a week would get us in the hundreds of hours. Multiply that times the hourly rate to the company and you get an expense to the organization.

+ To that number add the amount of hours spent talking to people causing the office drama.

+To that number add the amount the hours are worth of the people who spend time talking to the boss instead of doing their own jobs.

+To that number, add the lost opportunity of what you and your people could have done in that time had you not been working out office drama problems.

That grand total is the tangible actual

cost of office drama

outside the emotional and energy cost to the people involved."

To rid the wasted time and energy, we must trust and understand the situations that has been put in front us. Being nice is not good enough, the truth, the reality, is not always the easiest way but it certainly is the most effective way. We need to be interconnected with the relationships that we build by experiencing the problems by flipping our perspective. When we feel what others are feeling, we realize it is not only their issue but it is ours as well.